The Watcher's Daughter
by Vreeka
Summary: Song Fic. "I'd wait for you forever. In fact, it's what I was doing before you got here and screwed with my brain functions." A post NFA/Chosen reunion story where Buffy and Angel get their happy ending. Warning: Fluff, and slight W/O mention


A/N: No copyright intented, all characters belong to the fantastical Joss Whedon.

Summary: Song Fic, inspired from The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice. A reunion story, post NFA and Chosen. Buffy/Angel get their happy ending.

Spoilers: Nothing specific.

My first fanfic, enjoy and please review!

* * *

The Blower's Daughter

_And so it is, just like you said it would be  
Life goes easy on me...most of the time  
_  
A normal life.

I never thought I'd get that. After seven years of being, and i'm quoting directly here "One girl in all the world, a chosen one… One with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires..." (yada yada yada.. you get the idea) and another three years of leading the slayer army with the scoobies, i'd finally achieved it. A life in Rome with not so little Dawnie, mochas, shopping, dancing, sleeping at night! and yes, the occasional slayage, (which after 10 years of everyday killing and apocalypses, I classify "occasional" as normal, I still am a slayer after all) it's everything I always wanted. Well... almost. But I won't go down that long and winding road because after all, I really can't complain. And i'm not. Life is uncomplicated, except for the taking care of your little sister bit, but really.. even that's pretty easy. Dawn has grown so much, and i'd be lying if I said she didn't watch out for me too. But unlike myself, Dawn never really let go of the "un-normal" life. She followed into Giles' footsteps, and she's currently a watcher-in-training, and i'm sooo proud. I can't say i'm surprised, because after trying to, unsuccessfully I might add; shelter her from it all, it's no wonder it's the one thing she wants to do. Once upon a time, I would have tried to persuade her into something else, but she is who she is, and that person is responsible, smart, and most importantly, careful. So you see, she's definitely come a long way.

So here I am, living my normal life.

_And so it is, the shorter story  
No love, no glory,  
No hero in her sky_

Right this minute, Dawn and I are enjoying the perks of normality, in the form of Willow's wedding. My best friend getting married to the one person, or gender I should say, I thought was out for her. But as i've come to know her better, I've realized that for her, it's never been about gender. It's the connection you make with someone, and THAT, I completely get. So, after all, this isn't that unexpected. Tara and her had a bond even I was jealous about, and to this day, it still makes me sad that she lost that. But Willow is lucky, and although it's completely different from Tara, and doesn't in any way detract from what they had, she's found that bond again. With Oz. Neither of us thought we'd ever see him again, but life can suprise you like that. And as it turns out, he was exactly what my little wicca needed. After Sunnydale colapsed and before Kennedy left, she began sinking. We could all see it, but none of us knew what to do. We tried to reach her, but she would deny anything and everything. Until the day after Kennedy had left. She confessed that her whole relationship with the slayer felt forced. At the time, during the First's terror over us all, she just wanted to be loved and accepted. I can't blame her for that, but she did. And after it was all done, she couldn't deny it anymore. But how do you break up with someone who gives you everything you need, helps heal you in a way no one can? She felt immense gratitude to Kennedy, but that's not love, and it's definitely not enough. So, Kennedy did the leaving, and after some time, Willow let herself heal, and gave the apology Kennedy deserved. They may not be friends anymore, but there was never any hostility, just sad understanding. And then came Oz. The first big love of Willow's life, not counting Xander, yes, she loves Xander, always has and always will (as do I) but she wasn't ever IN love with him (as neither am I). Anyways, we ran into him purely by chance, and go figure, we're all freaked out, and Willow is as calm as the sea before the storm. Which I don't get, because I know if I ever saw An... well HIM, i'd be jumping out of my skin. But, neither of them jump into anything, in fact the opposite, it's the rest of us that finally get them seeing how crazy they still are for each other. Willow, on one hand, thinks she's over boys, and Oz is.. well Oz.

So I'm at the wedding I never saw coming, with the people I always knew would be in my life. Well... almost all of them. Giles having, by the looks of it, a very "watchery" conversation with Dawn, with the sudden squeal of hers as she takes in the couple, Willow and Oz, who are being incredibly "coupley" on the dance floor, Xander pigging out by the food, no surprise there AT ALL, with a tear in his unpatched eye when he too manages to catch a glimpse of the couple. Even i'm tempted to tear up, because overtly sentimental Oz is something worth seeing. But, I don't do that anymore. Cry that is. All a part of the normal life i'm living. But even I know crying is normal, but I have nothing to cry about. Dawn is beautiful and happy, Giles is there still with his books and fatherly presence, Willow and Oz are the perfect newlyweds, and Xander does nothing but make me laugh and smile. And he's happy too, after all this time, he finally allowed himself to let someone in, who as we speak, is tenderly feeding the glutton that is my friend Xander. It seems everyone is coupled up these days. Dawn is currently dating another watcher, a young guy named Tristan, who bores me to death, but he's sweet and I can tell he's head over heels. Even Giles, he found his way back to Olivia, and though marriage may never be in the cards for them, love is.

_And so it is, just like you said it should be  
We'll both forget the breeze... most of the time_

So, that leaves me. And sure, i've dated, even swooned a few times, but it's never been... well... forever. Like I said before, I don't cry, so what makes me think I can love.. again? I mean, my life isn't empty, I love my family, and i'm content with how my life is, but i've given up on the idea that i'll ever find someone who makes me happy, makes me cry, makes me FEEL. I accept all this, because as I how so inarticulately explained 3 years prior, i'm done baking. I finally feel like I know who I am, and who I am knows what she wants, but it's something I can't have. So, that leaves me with quiet acceptance. We don't always get what we want, but I know and love myself enough to know that I can't settle, because it's not enough. It's not love. And as selfish as the word "deserve" sounds, I know that I deserve real love. But, I had it once, and I consider myself lucky. I may not have it now, or ever again, but it's enough. Enough to get me by.

So no, the world isn't bright and new, but it's normal and boring, and I can live with that.  
_  
And so it is, the colder water  
The blower's daughter  
The pupil in denial_

I sense him before I see him. But at first, I think my heart is playing tricks on me. Which is understandable, as i've convinced myself that I had given up feeling a long time ago. A part of me even thinks its just my heart reacting at the adorableness that are my friends. But then, the feeling gets stronger and my mind can no longer deny what my body and soul already know. And even after 3 years, this doesn't surprise me. I always knew. As I ponder this, I finally understand Willow's reaction. I glance up and around, but I see nothing, and then I notice something I should have ages ago. It's daytime, in the middle of a park, and a part of me dies. I've died twice already, but this time it hurts more than both times combined. Realization hits me, as the feelings I thought were non-existent flood my being. So, apparently I do feel still, and the feeling overwhelming me right now, is stupidity. But something else too, other than painful dissapointment (which is the greatest of them all), and stupidity; I realize that only he can do this to me. And HE isn't even here. I stand up from my table to head towards Dawn and Giles. A little distraction is always a nice reprieve.

As I turn around, I see him.

_I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
_  
He's standing too close to be real, and too far to touch. This is the moment i've dreamed about since I found out he was a vampire. And with all the practice i've had of it, I still have no clue what to do. So the first thing I do is close my eyes, instantly regretting it. But it's something I had to do, to make sure this was all real. I snap them back open, half expecting him to be gone, but not knowing what i'd do if that happened, but luckily he's still standing there. And a small smile I haven't seen.. well ever, crosses his face. And it strikes me as odd, which in itself is odd, since he's standing in the sun and not turning to ash, and I don't seem to notice THAT.

_I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes..._

He started walking towards me, and for some reason I was rooted to the spot. In all my dreams, I always ran towards him, and launched myself into his arms and lips, yet here I was stiller than a deer frozen by headlights, which as far as Buffy analogies go, is one of my better ones. And extremely accurate since I could do nothing else. Not pinch myself to make sure I was awake, nor glance at anyone else to see if they saw him too. But as far as I was concerned, there was no one else. No, staring was my only option, and he seemed to be ok with that, because that unknown smile had not left his face.

_I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off of you_

He was standing before me finally, and my body was dying to be held by his, but I just couldn't move. I think my brain was rebooting from the surge of energy his presence had brought. He reached out to touch me, but pulled back suddenly, returning his arm back down to where it had been. I felt rejection wash over me, briefly. Funny. There had been some truth to the not feeling thing afterall, because everything I was feeling felt.. weird. Unknown. And suddenly, his smile was gone. And it loosened something in me, and movement was back.

"Angel." I said in that manner I was so accustomed to using, but hadn't used in years. Like his name was the answer to a prayer, and it was.

_I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes off you  
I can't take my eyes..._

"Buffy." He didn't dissapoint. Because, truth be told, I said his name just to hear him say mine. Not out of vanity, but I needed to hear it from his lips. Like it made this all, realer somehow. As much as I said his name like an answer to a prayer, the way he said mine was as if it WAS the prayer. Maybe this is another Buffy analogy of our relationship, and of them all, it's definitely my best.

"I...." he continued, and again reached out for me. For a reason, I don't know or understand, he hesitated yet again, and decided against touching me. And this, I couldn't stand.

"Don't."

The look that crossed his face was probably what mine had looked like when I noticed the sun and park. Pain and death. Two things so common in my previous life, that I recognized them instantly. Great. Bad Buffy.

_Did I say that I loathe you?  
Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?_

"I meant, don't not touch me." He had dropped his eyes shortly after my ill-timed word, and looked up at me as I finished my sentence, and the smile that had left his lips had instead occupied his eyes. The world was right again. I reached out to him, and the moment our fingers touched he yanked me into his arms as I willingly fell into them. I wrapped my arms around his neck,while he wrapped his arms around my back and the tears I hadn't shed in years finally came sliding out. I didn't even know what was going on, and the realization of this suddenly made me want to know how this was all happening. I was never one to question the good things in life, well in this case, fantastically amazingly awesomely great things, but I needed to know if I finally got my forever.

Unwillingly, I loosened my arms from around him and looked into the deep pools of his dark eyes. Who knew dark brown eyes could have such depth? I noticed the redness in them, and suddenly realized that he had shed some tears as well.

"How?" was all I managed to say after seeing so much emotion in him. He let his forehead rest against mine and stared back at me with such intensity I almost felt naked. And that shot an entirely different feeling through my body.

"Wait. First there's been something i've been dying to do since, well a long time." If I hadn't been staring into his eyes, I might have missed it, but as it was, I thought I caught a hint of laughter in them as he spoke. And then he kissed me.

_I can't take my mind off of you  
I can't take my mind off you  
I can't take my mind off of you_

It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my whole life. First, it was Angel. ANGEL. He was kissing me, and I never thought i'd be this happy ever again. Then, he was warm. It had been 3 years, 9months, and 7 days (but who's counting?) since I had last kissed him, and I still remembered the distinct coolness of his lips. This was as far from that as humanly possible. And then it clicked. HUMAN. It all made perfect sense, in the way that it shouldn't, since he was a vampire and humanity was long lost to him, centuries ago. But, then again, when did anything ever make sense? He had died, I had killed him and sent him to hell (and this was hard to remember with the guilt still lingering of that moment) yet, he had somehow come back to me. So, why on God's green earth couldn't THIS be possible? Unlike that previous death, this, I knew instinctively, he deserved.

"You're human." The minute the words came out I knew them to be true. And how I hadn't registered them earlier, i'll never know, but maybe it's because i've never been completely functional Buffy whenever he was around.

"I am." he answered simply, and gave me a sweet kiss, lingering a little longer than necessary. And not moving further than he had to. "And I want my life to be with you." Inside, I recoiled at the use of those words. They brought back a memory so bitter it almost angered me that he had used them. Almost. Human Angel happens once in a lifetime (only months later would I know how wrong I had been in thinking that), so I wouldn't let this get in the way. In retrospect, I think he said them to try and ease the harshness of that moment, and make them words I could stand to hear again. And yes, he succeeded. Sort of. That moment is still one of the top 10 I could live without. This moment, is one of the 10 I can't.

_I can't _take_ my mind off you  
I can't take my mind off you  
I can't take my mind...  
_  
There was no way he didn't know what I had been thinking, but he made no show of it. He just held me tighter. As if he were afraid I might say what he had said that night so long ago. But there was no way in hell that'd be happening. I was cookies, and I knew what I wanted.

When I still hadn't answered, he spoke again, with a certain sense of despair in his words, "I shouldn't have just shown up like this, but the minute I turned, all I could think of, was you. If you've moved on, I understand. I couldn't expect you to wait..." he began letting me go and again I snapped back into reality. God, why was I doing this so much? Another Bad bad Buffy moment. I pressed my lips over his and kissed him with all I had in me.

"I'd wait for you forever. In fact, it's what I was doing before you got here and screwed with my brain functions." He laughed, and it was music in my ears, as cliche as that sounds. Without a moments hesitation, he kissed me again. I was beginning to like this assertive Angel.

"So...you'll stay with me then?" He asked, and this time I had to laugh. Maybe not so assertive after all.

"Forever. That's the whole point."

And with that, normal was thrown out the window, and I couldn't have been happier about it.

THE END


End file.
